


RIP Namie

by cmpeabooty



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Brotp, Gen, M/M, Regretting Life Choices, Reluctant Friendships, izayas crocs make another appearance, namie hates her job, namie witnesses too much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 10:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21073718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cmpeabooty/pseuds/cmpeabooty
Summary: in which namie witnesses the idiocy of her boss





	RIP Namie

This is not the first time Namie has regretted her decision to ever set foot in the informant’s domain. 

She regrets it every day. Every five minutes, really. 

No, she doesn’t need to work for Izaya. She has plenty of finances from working at Yagiri Pharmaceuticals. She doesn’t even need the protection or anonymity that she’s achieved while working for Izaya. 

In fact, within her first week of being his “secretary,” (_gag me_) she’d figured out seven ways to get out from under his thumb. 

He thinks he has sufficient blackmail material on her? Well, he must be an idiot if he thinks that she doesn’t have twice the amount of blackmail on him. 

Who’s she kidding? Of course he’s an idiot. 

She’s listened to Izaya mumble to himself about the most inane things, like whether he should order delivery, or go out for food.

He leaves trails of disaster everywhere, and she doesn’t mean his meddling affairs. 

No, Izaya is easily the messiest human being she’s ever met. 

She stopped cleaning up after him. He ended up slipping on a dirty t-shirt. He broke his pinkie. Namie couldn’t stop laughing. 

Namie has become remarkably immune to his attempts at intimidation. It’s hard to be afraid of someone after you’ve seen them snoring at their desk, or giggling at Adventure Time, or shuffling around like a zombie first thing in the morning. Or when they wear _pink crocs_. 

One such occasion sticks in Namie’s mind: she had arrived at Izaya’s office/apartment at 8am. The bastard was nowhere in sight, but this had become normal. Namie learned Izaya was not happy to rise early. 

Within ten minutes he was shuffling downstairs, dressed, and into the kitchen to brew a fresh pot of coffee. 

“Morning,” she greeted, though he didn’t respond, which was normal. 

She hears him fussing over the coffee pot, and turns just in time to see him grab the pot by its handle, only for the glass pot to fall from the handle completely, shattering on the floor, boiling hot coffee spilling everywhere. 

Izaya just stood there, handle still in his hand, staring at the mess on the floor. 

He heaved a dramatic sigh, dropped the handle, and shuffled into the living room. He curled up under the coffee table in a fetal position. He started moaning. 

Namie lost it, she’d never laughed that hard in her entire life! She had never seen Izaya look so dejected, all because of some spilled coffee!

She smiles a bit at the memory. It took forever to get Izaya to come out from under the table. She lured him out with a Starbucks coffee, black, with an extra shot of espresso. 

He pouted as he sipped it. 

These days, Izaya seems less annoying than usual. She knows why though. She’s not stupid. 

She smells the lingering scent of cigarettes in the apartment. She only knows one person that smells like he bathes in cigarette smoke. Izaya doesn’t let _anyone_ smoke in his apartment. 

Also she had come in early one morning, and literally ran into Shizuo Heiwajima, as he was getting milk from the fridge. 

_ “Oh, good christ!”_

The monster of Ikebukuro turned bright red in from of her eyes. It was quite a sight. He ran out of the apartment soon after. 

Honestly, she’s glad Izaya has found an _activity_ that gets all his restless energy out. Makes her days less annoying. 

She could do without the drama, though. 

She doesn’t know _what_ Heiwajima did, but it’s made Izaya even more annoying. He breathes a sigh every five seconds, and does nothing but move around. It’s obnoxious. 

Namie doesn’t know why she’s so annoyed, but whatever. 

As she leaves for the day, she nearly runs into Heiwajima as she steps out of Izaya’s building. He catches her before she does, though. 

“...Sorry.”

Arching a brow, “Oh, it’s you. I hope you’re going up there to fix whatever it was that you did.”

He flinches. 

“He’s been pouting and whining for the past five days! It’s insufferable. Fix it, or it’ll be your tongue I cut out, next!” And she stalks off. 

She hasn’t seen Heiwajima since, but it’s clear he’s done something right. Izaya doesn’t stop smiling. 

**Author's Note:**

> namie loves her idiot boss


End file.
